Josie Wales1

Mere bare men: It started with an interest in Shemales when I was young. VHS had just come out, and I rented my first porn, a vid of Sulka and other Transexuals. I was fascinated with them. Anyway, a neighbor(male) friend and I, being 12 or 13 started messing around when we stayed overnight with each other and eventually had full on intercourse, he inside me. I loved it but freaked out because I didn't want to be gay, a big no-no where I'm from. How could I be gay? I love women and still do! So, at 18 I left home, saw the world, got married yada yada yada, was fairly happy and pseudo-content. It was the beginning of the nineties and at least for me, the internet had arrived, I saw my first gay sex pic, Kurt Cobain said Everyone is Gay. I remember my face turning red and heart beating when I saw that picture of two men having sex. Looking over my shoulder, worried someone was going to see me and know I was turned on by it. My wife, my brothers in arms, my parents, etc. etc. etc. I'm a fake, liar, maybe even a sissy as people back home say. Anyway, undeterred, my thoughts kept returning to my friend from back home. I wanted, craved, dreamed of being with him again. This time without hang-ups, without petty insecurities. Eventually, I returned home to tell my friend about these feelings. It wasn't easy, as I had come to believe it was only me enjoying the sex that night. That I was the culprit for the one gay episode in our lives. Thankfully, that was all untrue and with some beverage bravado, I spilled the beans. He, my one great friend from long ago, and being newly divorced, agreed to another night in the sack. It was slow and wonderful. It was plain and simple lovemaking. We both enjoyed it immensely. Now I know I'm Bi or Pan sexual. I'm active with women, passive with men, and with both I prefer lovemaking.